today I m the same, and also as different as I change from day to day, like I do every day.
Still I m supposed to feel something special about this.
It made me wonder; before I turned 40, on the day itself, and after, what that could be? There s a lot confronting thinking possible on this front (getting physicaly older, losing contact with the stream of evolution around me because of the fact that household/work/life just consumes time, choices we made have had their impact in many ways,…).
Also there s a lot of positive thinking possible (the ability to think for my self gets stronger, more appreciation, more experience, more enjoying small things…)
One can keep on analysing and explaining why we should or should not feel good about this.
Yesterday I had a conversation with my 14 year old. She wondered why she sensed that I was not completely happy that day, as she is the sensitive one to pic up on peoples feeling in a second. I wondered, "mmm, I m fine, but some how I feel like I m forced to stop for a second, and with that, a stream of nice, happy but also sad memories is going through me. I think that s why I m not a happy birthday-girl..."
After some warm phone calls and messages I also checked my Facebook. Going through those, I realised I have no idea what I actually mean to all of you, and at the same time it hit me.
It doesn 't matter. What does matter was that, by passing your comments, I realised I m the lucky one to get an emotion with every name I pass. So many people that have meant/mean something to me. It can be a memory of a tiny sentence, a nice conversation, or just your face,work, kids related,..., it can be a struggle as well as nice warm moments.
It can be anything!
Happy and thankfull to be able to realise that + the love of my familymembers who woke up at 6 to make me a huge breakfast, made my day into a perfect 40 years old-day !